Tea, voicemail and movies

I know, not a very clever title, but this is what I am going to talk about right now. First, tea.

I don't like it. I never have and starting about a year or two ago, it seemed that is the only thing people wanted to do. "Lets go get tea" was a common thing to hear among my group of friends. It seemed like every date I went on, they wanted to take me for tea. At first I really tried to do it. I tried all kinds, a lot of different ways, but I just didn't like it. So, I quit trying. I would just order hot chocolate instead. But ordering hot chocolate made me feel like I wasn't an adult like the rest of them. Anyway, once I decided that I didn't care and tea just wasn't my thing- it happened. I tried a tea on a whim and I like it. No, dare I say, I love it!!!! It's a Snapple brand, and it's very fruity, with a little honey it's delicious. I found the Adult in me that I was looking for and apparently it's fruit flavored.

OK, on to voicemail. A funny thing happened this morning. Maybe I will be the only one who thinks this is funny.I had to call someone this morning and I really didn't want to (it was necessary though) and just hearing their voice on the voicemail made me a little sick. After their message the voicemail computer voice came on and said "if you STILL want to leave this person a message, press 3." Still??? Does it say this on all voice mails? It's like the computer voice knew how I felt and was telling me that it was OK if I had changed my mind. And I swear I heard her put emphasis on still. I still left a message. I had to. But I think that the empathy the computer voice had showed me with just one little word gave me the courage to do it.

Now on to movies, well . . . just one movie really. I think Spiderman 3 sucked.

Going global

Well, I made this huge deal on myspace about how I would not conform and join the blogger revolution. I am now joining. I am making this blog open to the public. It was getting too hard to get people I wanted to read it, to read it. So here it is. All my dirty laundry and ridiculous rants. You may be on this blog and I may have said unkind things, but I have tried to go back and make it so that names have been changed for the protection of the innocent (or not so innocent).

If you are my friend and have a blog and would like to connect me to yours, go ahead. I give you permission now. I have nothing to hide. My life is an open book and if you are a part of my life, someone just might get to read about you.

Happy Birthday to Me

So my birthday isn't until the 19th of this month, but as a birthday present to me (and to my best friend Erin) I bought tickets to see Damien Rice. It was good. It was SO good. I loved every minute and as pathetic as it sounds, I was totally weepy through part of it. It was amazing.

There was a point where a drunk guy was dancing and Erin asked him to buy her a churro, but other than that, it was perfect. (full story)

Damien told a lot of really interesting stories that went along with his songs. Like I had no idea that "Me, My Yoke and Me" was about masturbation or that "I remember" was about the bagger at the grocery store. His stories were very human and honest and I appreciated that.

He told a great story about cows too.

He did an amazing rendition of "Accidental Babies" that was just heart wrenching.

The true highlight was that we just so happened to park our car right next to an old friend. We hung out before the concert and went to dinner afterward. It was so much fun. I love being around people that make you feel like you can be yourself. There were no apologies and no fronts, it was just easy.

Couldn't have had a better birthday present.

My crappy camera phone captured this unrecognizable image:







Here I am, just 15 rows back and very white:

I thought this applied to my life. . . so I am sharing it with you.

How to Beat "Dating Déjà Vu"

5 tips for avoiding another hurtful relationshipBy Karen Sherman, Ph.D.

So you've finally gotten past the old relationship, licked your wounds, and sworn you've learned your lessons. You've starting dating again and you're even taking it slowly. Though you've healed, the hurt from the past is still vivid in your memory.

And then, suddenly, there he or she is! There's just something about this person that feels right. For all the people you've been going out with, this person seems different -- there's a comfort level you don't experience with the others. And so, you start to shun the others and make a more definitive commitment to this person.

And you're happy. Yes, this could be "the one"!

But then, a few months into the relationship, you start to realize that though your new partner seemed different from your last one, he/she really isn't different at all. The more you get to know the person, the more you recognize the same underlying traits. Maybe he/she isn't generous with money or not emotionally expressive or makes unilateral decisions.

And you ask yourself, "How could this happen again?"

Patterns from the past
The truth is, we tend to be drawn to the same types over and over again. That's because they remind us of someone in our family of origin, which accounts for the initial feeling of comfort. Generally, there's an unresolved issue you're hoping to resolve in the relationship. Please note that all of this is happening at a sub-awareness level.

Here are some examples: Let's say you had a very strict upbringing. You might be attracted to someone who's controlling, so you can replay this earlier issue and no longer feel restricted. Or, if you had a parent who was emotionally shut down, you might be drawn to someone who gets upset when you're emotional, so you can rework feeling comfortable when you do express your feelings.

I believe that part of the reason this happens is because we have learned certain patterns in our childhood to help us adapt to our family of origin -- these are our survival tools. If they work -- that is, we feel we are loved by our parents -- we continue to use them. Using the examples above, we become compliant to a controlling father or try to hide our feelings from a non-expressive mother. And, we continue to do them, without thinking. We start to function mindlessly, as if we are on "automatic pilot."

How to avoid "dating déjà vu"

So, how can you stop this pattern? The key is awareness. Here are five tips to help you steer clear of another hurtful relationship:

1. Be self-observant. Ask yourself, after you've gotten to know someone, what are the traits in them that you were initially drawn to? It's likely that these are the very aspects of the person that bother you -- ones that you say you don't want in another relationship.
2. Be analytical. What issues from your childhood does this person reflect?
3. Consider doing some personal work. By working on whatever the unresolved issue is for you, it will no longer need as much attention through someone else.
4. Be aware. Everything you want to know about someone is there right in the beginning. You just have to pay close attention and not be blinded by your emotions. That's why your friends can see a trait that you might not.
5. Work it through. Is the overall relationship a good one? Remember that everyone has issues. If each of you learns to accept and respect the issues of the other person, the relationship can be quite healing for both of you.

Nothing exciting at the moment

This weekend was really laid back, but really good. Friday night, hung out with some girlfriends in a hotel. It was really chill and really fun.

Sorta helped my friend move into my house. It is going to be great.

Went to church today and it was so hot that church felt like 5 hours instead of 3.

I am studying for my final tomorrow (well, right now I am writing a blog, but I am taking a break) and I think that I am going to walk to 711 and get something caffeinated to keep me up all night.

Let the healing process begin . . .

Well the bandage fell off and it looks bruised and gross and now I will share it with you.






Still hurts.












Oh I got wait listed at Portland State. At least I didn't get rejected right?

This makes my heart ache a little, not sure why

Moley moley moley

So I am "home sick" today. About a month ago I had a mole removed on my abdomen and one on my leg. The one on my abdomen came back abnormal and they were concerned about it and went in and removed underneath it as well as around it. I should have taken a before picture. The after picture is only of where they did it, but it's all covered up. Here it is:



Not the most flattering picture. I took it on my camera phone. You can even see some smudges of blood that I didn't know were there. There will probably be about an inch and a half long scar. He said that he did some plastic surgery on it so that it wouldn't be too bad of a scar. I am a huge chicken and the whole thing was a little much for me to take. I almost passed out in the lobby afterwards, I didn't realize that I was so light headed. A nurse sat me down and got me some water and then I was fine. What a wuss.

He loves me, he loves me not . . .

Dates

So I said that I would never date again. I always say that after a breakup, but it never lasts more than a day or two. I have a sorta date tonight and I am not telling who, because I know that some of you will reprimand me. I am going to class and then I am going to see the movie "Host" which is a Japanese monster movie. It should be entertaining.

I am then going out with a guy named Bryan on Wednesday. We are going to the Pie for Pizza. I don't know him that well, but he is cute. He's a photographer.

Thursday night I am going to the movies with Steve. He is the one that I met in high school at Youth Conference. We dated for about 2 months last year, but it just sort of faded. He asked me out again and I am single so why not? I liked him. He was just a really slow mover.

I am talking to this new guy. He is hilarious. He seems to know all of my friends but I don't know him. We correspond over LDS link up. Haven't met yet, but he is super cute. So we'll see.

I promise to be smart. I promise to not get too caught up. I promise that I won't just casually make out with all of them. This is how I cope, so sue me.