Total Cheese Ball

So a few weeks ago I was kinda down in the dumps- I was talking to my mom and she quoted Jesus for me "I never said it would be easy I only said it would be worth it." This was the same conversation where she insulted my hair, so I was already annoyed. I told her that Jesus never said that. She then said, "well lots of people at church have said it over the years, and it's true." Maybe she does have a point. Life isn't easy, but it sure is worth it. Right? Hmm, right.

So many things lately have been reminding me of when I was younger- I totally loved cheesy Mormon stuff. I did! I lived for it. I went to every girl's camp, youth conference, EFY- stake dances were like the best weekend of the whole month. We got to be around other Mormons and dance like idiots or see our crush that lived hours away. I even listened to EFY music for fun sometimes. I was an EFY counselor one year just so I could hold on to the "magic". I had Mormon Ads on my wall, I loved seminary, I loved the movie "on the way home", I couldn't get enough of Jack Weyland's books (Michelle and Debra was my FAVORITE).

But something changed. I often say it was my mission that changed me. I somehow became more cynical, less cheesy and pretty much completely opposed to the cheese. Someone saying in fast and testimony meeting that one day they will go to heaven and Jesus will give them a big hug no longer causes the goosebumps, but now forces my eyes to roll. I would rather have a factual doctrine based scripture backing them up then some ridiculous Mormon myth about how the missionaries came to their house when no one was home and their dead grandmother scheduled the first discussion.

What happened? Have I just grown up? Or have my life experiences given me a tough outer layer?

This past week I went to pick up my little for our weekly outing. I had to pick her up at the young women's activity, they were preparing for their Mormon trek (in Florida they don't have these, but if I had lived in Utah I guarantee you I would have gone). The young men and young women were out on the Field square dancing. There was an announcer telling them how to dance. It looked like so much fun. Not so much the square dancing part- but the interaction they were having with one another- the laughing and the playing. I got this homesickness in my heart. Homesickness for being a teenager again? Maybe. I just missed the young women's program. I missed the things that helped me grow up strong in the gospel and helped me to first feel and understand the spirit. I missed the things that have enabled me to still have a testimony today. I missed the cheesiness of it all.

And I still do.

Lifesaver

I love friends that are there when you need them AND friends that make you laugh. Please read this, it explains it much better. It was definitely a good night. I tried to lie and tell the waitress it was our 5th anniversary- I thought it would be even funnier, but I just couldn't do it. She was too excited about us being dressed up and I didn't want to feel like I was secretly making fun of her.



Sizzler suits us well, don't ya think?

Why don't boys like me?

Me, Alyssa and Erin have this thing we used to do- whenever we do anything silly, stupid or seemingly unattractive, we would follow it up with the question "why don't boys like me?". Often times we would laugh- that was until they both got married and I remained single- kinda not so funny anymore (although I will still pull the joke out for a laugh when I can). Another one we do, is say "Why am I getting fat?"- as we shove spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry's phish food into our mouths or something as equally delicious and fattening. But I digress.

I was talking to my mother last week and she said something like "honey, I don't know why boys don't like you- you are smart and beautiful . . . but I do think you should change your hairstyle." This was not the time nor the place for such a comment and I proceeded to tell her so and then swiftly got off the phone. She kinda apologized later, but still stood by the statement that she does not like my choice of hairstyle. Yesterday I spent $90.00 on a deep condition and a hair cut. I kept my long brown locks in layers and didn't change much of anything (hey, I like it, even if my mom or 'the boys' don't). My mom called shortly after I got it cut and said "now Angie, don't get mad, but I was watching the view today and Anne Hathaway was on, well, I Teboed (Tivo) it for you- I really like her hair." I then proceeded to tell her she was too late and I had already spent an obscene amount of money getting my hair cut and it looked exactly the same way it had before only trimmed.

I am so glad that my mother thinks I am so great that the only possible solution to this single problem (I don't really see it as that much of a problem) is getting a new hairstyle.

Sorry Mom, it looks like I will be going at least another 3 months unmarried.

Pirates, Kilts and burn victims

Salt Lake City can be a pretty awesome place during the summer. There are so many things to do and most of them are free, or mostly free. I am so excited for it to be July so that the twilight concert series can begin. Our bike gang will travel to the gallivan center for the free Wednesday night concerts as well as the Monday Movie Nights for the Sundance outdoor film festival. Friday night we went to the movie at the park and watched Goonies. It was a little cold for June, but so so fun.






Saturday I went to the Scottish Festival, also for free, because Citrine (the super amazing Celtic choir I am in) sang. It was really fun. Kilts everywhere- I ate haggis and watched sword fights. It was like a Renaissance festival, but not nerdy or lame. I did, however, jump off the back of some bleachers in a dress and flash the entire festival my Mormon underwear. My bag was caught on the top bleacher and my dress was caught on my bag, so the dress and the bag remained on the bleacher and the rest of me stood there, dress over my head for a good 5 seconds. Needless to say, I was still able to sing an hour later- maybe that is the best way to get over stage fright, rather than picturing the audience in their underwear, just flash them yours. Brilliant (insert Scottish accent here).

Saturday night my friend Rocket had a dance Party for his birthday and I proceeded to dance away the weeks frustrations. I think dancing can fix almost anything. I ended the night hanging out in a hammock and laughing a lot. Best quote of the night from someone who will remain nameless "so I was seriously considering selling my foreskin to make a little money. They could use it to help burn victims or something." The conversation obviously didn't stop there, but may not be appropriate for all my blog readers. Yes it was hilarious.

Censoring myself

This blog post could be all revealing, but I decided against it. I am censoring myself, if you will. It's been a sad few days, at moments, I might have even called it devastating (I do tend to be a little dramatic). I have had a good cry, eaten some good ice cream and had a lot of girl talk- also took a really hot bubble bath- which all seemed to help. Well, help me feel better anyway, at least temporarily. I have also been listening to a lot of super sappy sad songs- somehow wallowing makes it better.

Just like Rob Gordon asks "What came first? The Music or the misery?"

I think in this particular case- the misery came first. And Misery loves company- the company I have chosen are Ani and Death Cab and Glen Hansard and of course my new best friend Kate Nash.

SOOOOO good

This movie was so good, I am posting the trailer on both blogs. GO AND SEE IT. The little girl will capture your heart and the film is beautiful to watch. I can't say enough about it, so I won't even try.

Just a thought

I have been feeling rather contemplative lately. Thinking about where my life has been and where my life is going. I think I am so quick to forget the blessings that have been so prevelant in my life and I most definitely take them for granted. I come from a wonderful family, I have amazing friends from all the different stages of my life and I have had many exciting opportunities to do things. I have so much to be grateful for.

I had a really hard week. Full of stress and money (of which I didn't have) and tears. Some of the tears had explanations, some I am not sure where they came from- but I was having a hard time. You know what it was? Me feeling sorry for myself, sorry for my "situation". It all culminated at one point during the week when I was especially overwhelmed and I kinda hit a wall. I was heading to my parent's house so that my dad could take me to get my car and he could get his back (he had lent it to me when my clutch went out). I walked into his house and immediately lost it. I cried like I was 6 years old again and I just wanted my dad to fix all that was wrong in the world and especially in my life. Before I knew it, I hiccuped through the tears "Daddy will you please give me a blessing?" Without hesitation, my father laid his hands on my head and gave me the sweetest, most heartfelt blessing. He said all the things I needed to hear and many things I didn't know I needed to hear and peace and comfort washed over me. I have struggled a little since, but much of the peace has remained- my attitude has changed.

I don't really know where I am going with this and it seems a little out of context with all the silly things I write on here. I just wanted to share this experience and put it in writing so maybe I won't so easily forget this time. The Lord understands us and can heal all pains- no matter what they are, even if they are silly or of our own doing and that's the truth.