Clean and sober

Since grad school began I have pretty much sucked at posting on my blog. I always think about things I could write about, but just can't find the time or energy to actually put it in writing. As you can see from my previous post, I have been sick for about a week. Today is the first day that I actually feel normal and can breathe through my nose without any pharmacological help. Just in time for another week of craziness. It's not so bad, in fact I really like school. I'm broke and I keep living like I have a steady income- but other than that, I really do love my life.

If you have read my blog for a while now, you may know that I have suffered from insomnia for years. Some nights were good, most were bad. I even had a few mishaps in trying to find the right pill that would help me sleep. That was embarrassing. Well, who would have thought that a little self discipline was all I needed? If I knew, I was in serious denial. Let me explain. I am taking a substance abuse class this semester, I really like it. As part of the class we needed to give something up for 30 days. I thought about giving up making out, or sugar or something like that- but in the end I decided on caffeine. I LOVE diet coke, especially with lime. I drank it every day- sometimes three and four times a day. But I didn't think it would be that hard to give up.

Sometime in late August I stopped drinking caffeine. And it was so hard. I relapsed a week into the challenge. Maren and I were at the movies and I just couldn't resist. After two days of binge drinking diet coke I recommitted on September 7. Today I am 70 days without caffeine. It was so hard the first 30 days. I had horrible migraines and all I wanted was a coke to make it feel better. The amazing thing? Now I don't want it, I haven't had a headache in weeks and I sleep!!! I do. Not perfectly, every night, but compared to just a year ago- I sleep.

Oh and my teacher has given me a 30 day and 60 day clean and sober chip that I keep on my car keys. I am sure people will think I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I don't mind. 90 days is just around the corner.



If only I could find my car keys.