Tuesday, April 1, 2008
You may say I'm a dreamer . . .
I am a dreamer. A big dreamer, I always have been. Not only do I have crazy dreams at night (seriously crazy sometimes) but I am also quite the day dreamer. I am constantly building up insane scenarios in my head about how my life is going to turn out. The thing I have discovered about being a dreamer is that dreamers tend to have massive disappointments in their lives. The reason for this, I believe, is because dreamers begin to believe their ridiculous day dreams and when they don't pan out? BAM! Disappointment. So I try to go the other way, super low expectations- that should work, right? Nah, even then, the little things that are bound to happen never end up the way that I truly believe they should. I think the dreamer in me has gotten very frightened over the past few years. Maybe it's being cautious or maybe it's the beginning signs of bitterness (wow I sure hope not), but I am far less likely to find myself staring off into the distance imagining the prince that will ride up on the white horse or what I will do with the massive amounts of money I am left from a rich great aunt I never knew or for being discovered on the street as the next big thing. It kinda makes me sad really. I have always loved the movies/books/stories where the main character ends up in another mystical amazing world that was created from their own imagination. The truth is- that world doesn't exist- even in the story. It's just made up and never as cool as imagined.
This week I was at a party in a mansion (seriously) and I was told there was a secret passageway in the library. For a second, I was so excited I couldn't hardly wait to see where this secret passage would lead. My mind raced and thought of all the amazing places it could or should go. When I discovered it just led to a crawl space full of camping gear, I cannot even begin to describe my disappointment. Being a dreamer equals mega let down, every time.