Thursday, April 24, 2008
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?
The old adage does make some sense. I suppose it’s easy to take someone for granted when you see them everyday and you know that you will see them everyday. I have many years of dating under my belt and have been in many types of relationships. All of which I feel help you to learn and grow, which then helps you with the next relationship, whatever it may be. I’m not just talking romantic relationships either. In fact one of my very best friends lives half a world away- and I love and miss him. I still consider him a best friend- even though it’s been a year or so since we’ve seen each other. I also have friends I still keep in contact with that I haven’t seen for many years. On the other hand, there have been many friends that I have lost contact with over the years that just couldn’t make the cut because seeing them or not seeing them seemed to make a difference. I think it’s more about the connection you have than the actual proximity of your relationship. It’s a mystery that maybe one day I will solve through researching and social experiments, but as for now- it will remain a mystery.
As for romantic relationships and long distance (LDR) -that is a slightly different story. It’s hard. SUPER hard. There is something about having that daily or nearly daily contact that is really important in a relationship. I’m not talking about making out or anything (although that’s nice too), I mean actual physical closeness. Having dinner together, watching movies together, going for a walk, sitting together at church- all of these things are important in their own way. I think the hardest thing about an LDR is just the sadness you feel when you are apart. It’s real and it sucks. So you have to look forward to the phone calls or the text messages or the times you do get to meet up and spend quality time together and that makes it worth it.
After one LDR went awry a few years ago, I had vowed never to be in one again. I wouldn’t even date guys in Provo- it just seemed too far away and too much work. But I think it goes back to the friendship thing I spoke about earlier. Sometimes there is a connection that can make it through tough circumstances and sometimes there isn’t. So when you find that connection, it doesn’t matter if they live in Provo or Timbuktu, it’s worth it to try and make it work. Right?