Complacent

I have been thinking a lot lately about what is important to me and what I want out of life. I had an experience that I hope I can put into words and actually make sense of. I have been trying to be more “active” at church. Now, first let me tell you, I attend church every Sunday (all three hours), teach relief society and occasionally do my visiting teaching- so I am not exactly “inactive”, but I wasn’t doing anything else. In fact, I had been feeling quite complacent. I had something happen recently (I won't go in to the details) that forced me to really look at myself and what things I have been missing in my life. So I made a decision that I was going to attend more church activities. This included FHE and firesides. I haven’t been to a fireside in years- seriously. I listen to the CES firesides online sometimes, but can’t remember the last time I attended a ward fireside. Sunday I attended a ward fireside. The speaker was a ward member’s grandfather who had grown up in WWII Germany. As I sat in the chapel among the other ward members in attendance, the ward building had a different feel than it did during the day. I had this overwhelming feeling of déjà vu- the feeling that this is exactly where I needed to be, the feeling that I had once made certain things a priority and a part of my life-but they had stopped being a priority at some point and I wanted those things to be a priority again. I hope that made sense. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have been in the habit of filling my time with things that have no meaning. They weren’t necessarily bad things, just not edifying things. And on Sunday I realized that I wanted that to change and I am consciously making an effort to do that. Not just with firesides and such, but with the people I surround myself with and the media I watch or read or listen to. I need things that build me up and not break me down.

I am heading on a cruise for a week and I fully intend on taking some time to enjoy the beauty all around me (I am not talking about cute cruise boys either). I am talking about the beautiful world around us that is truly a gift. I am going to take some time to relax and reboot. I am going to take some time to think about what is really important to me. I'll let you know what I come up with.

(oh I am also planning on eating lots of food)