Where have you been?

I haven't written a blog post in almost 4 years. That's crazy. Just crazy.

I want to start writing again and I suppose this is my attempt to do so. This is for no one else but me, but if you're reading, I guess it can be for you too.

Since my last entry I moved and had a baby. My baby from 2014 is now a rambunctious 4 and a half year old and my NEW baby is an adorable, smiley and fat 5 month old, Mable Elaine. If you see me in person, ask me to sing the song I wrote for her when she was just days old. It's catchy. Almost TOO catchy.

We no longer reside in the City of Salt Lake. We love and miss it, but Portland, Oregon has been our new home for over a year now. It's  . . . growing on me. I like it. Really I do. I was just used to my life in Salt Lake. I lived there for 16 years after-all.

Oh, since my last entry I also found out I have a sister. YEP, you read that correctly, A SISTER. And she is fantastic (thank goodness). I am sure I will write about that at some point. I am going to visit her this coming weekend.

Hmm, what else, what else. Still happily married, still a clinical social worker, still love dance parties in the kitchen- so not a TON has changed. I mean, except for making another human with my body.

Mable Elaine has been a dream baby. She is happy and healthy and just so cute. She sleeps well and travels well. She loves her brother and laughs and smiles all the time. She tolerates all the things I insist on putting on her head (i.e. turbans and bows and the like). She's pretty dang amazing if I am being honest. She is named after mine and Nathaniel's paternal grandmothers. So her GREAT grandmothers. Sweet huh? Sometimes we call her Mabey or Mabes and even Missy Moo (I have no idea why, but it has stuck).

Sebastian has turned into quite the little man. He is funny and silly and smart and thoughtful and terrible and moody and loving and the best and the worst and very very 4. He loves being a big brother and I truly mean loves it. It doesn't matter where we are, he is yelling for everyone to, "LOOK AT MY BABY!!" He wants to make her laugh at all costs, even if that means mom is yelling at him to give her space or stop making fart noises (both of which do make her laugh). He gives her kisses freely and thinks she is adorable and I love seeing him be a big brother. It's been a hard transition for the both of us. It was just him and me for 4 years. That's a long time and the little squish threw a monkey wrench into that situation, an adorable chubby monkey wrench, but still.

I work one day a week in an actual office, seeing clients and I see other clients throughout the week over the internet (cool huh?). The rest of the time I am home or driving to school or swim class or soccer or the dentist or the doctor or the park- you get the idea.

I love my life.

BUT, it's also hard sometimes. I am pretty sure I have postpartum depression. Not a serious case by any means. In fact I don't feel depressed or particularly down, but sometimes I am SUPER irritable. And I think about how great my life is and I get MORE irritated for being irritated! Ah, mental illness, it never makes logical sense. I am going to see my doctor and see if she can help. I really want to be the best version of me for my kids and my husband and well, for me!

I am running again. It's been a while. I am training for a half marathon that I will run in a couple weeks. It's helped with losing the baby weight and it helps with anxiety and my energy level. BUT, I turned 40 this year (oh yeah, that happened too) and things hurt that didn't used to, like my knees! Hey, when did that happen??

Any who. Things are good. I can't complain. I probably will at some point and often do, but I will try not to.

On that note, welcome back (that was to me from me, in case you were wondering).

Book Review: Station Eleven by: Emily St. John Mandel

I'll be the first to admit, I am a sucker for post apocalyptic/dystopia stories such as The Road, 1984, A  Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451 (you get the idea); so when I read the premise of this book I knew it would be right up my alley. However, this book is a little different than those other books in that once I completed it, I didn't feel a sense of heaviness or depression; I didn't feel like I needed to read something "light and fluffy" in order to feel better. There was something very optimistic and hopeful in this story.

On goodreads, I gave this book 4 stars and if you follow me on good reads you will notice I do not give 4's and 5's freely. I would even say it is probably more like 4.5 stars. I liked it that much. The story starts just before a flu pandemic hits and basically wipes out 90% of the worlds population.

I really appreciated how she built the story through a specific character and how the other characters in the book (seemingly unconnected to each other) are all connected by this one person in one way or another.

Throughout the book she goes back and forth to before the pandemic, to 10, 15 and 20 years after the flu. All with different parts of the story. It was so interesting to think about the fall of civilization as we know it. No social media, no air travel, no electricity and how we would survive. I also liked seeing it from the perspective of someone who didn't really remember life before the flu hit.

It really made me think about what I would or wouldn't do if something like this happened. Would I barricade myself in my house and wait it out? Would I try to walk to somewhere? Would I avoid everyone? Would I be able to kill someone else to survive? I hope I never have to find out. 

10 months old!

9 months old!

8 months old!

7 months old!

6 months Old!

5 months old!!

Update

Sorry. I didn't update on Mother's day or my birthday or going back to work. So here it is.

I got everything I wanted for Mother's day/my birthday. Maybe it was because I publicly posted it for all to see or maybe it's because my family loves me. I would like to think it is more the latter and it probably is.

I love my Salt water sandals, I have a massage on my way and I  ate all of the hazelnut ben and jerry's in a 24 hour period. Nathaniel sure is sweet. He also took me to the melting pot on my birthday which was delicious and fun. My mother in law bought me the necklace and I love it. The N is for Nathaniel (in case you were wondering).

Sebastian and I went to Seattle in the beginning of June. It was such a nice trip and Sebastian was an Angel baby the whole time. He flew so well and he even did well walking around Seattle for 6 hours one day. Unfortunately his sleep got all screwed up and we have struggled for the last month trying to get it back on track. He loved seeing Nanny and granddad though.

Sebastian has had to more months added to him since my last post and here are his update pictures.

 He started rolling over back to front and he gets mad that he can't crawl or roll back over. It's pretty adorable. He has been going to grandpa and grandma's two days a week since I went back to work and has so much fun. My parent;s house looks like a toy store. They have bought him so much to play with!!

Work is good. I enjoy it. Since I am only there two days a week I stay pretty busy. I have to go to a training in Montana later this month and I am bringing my mom and Sebastian!! We will see how that goes.

My dear friend Sarah and her husband Joel and son Kai were in town this past weekend. Her and I were able to have a girls night on Friday night and see a movie. The Fault in Our Stars. I had read the book and really liked it and the movie was just as good. We both cried our eyes out and ate so much popcorn and soda. It was kind of awesome. Nathaniel got to stay with the little guy. Sarah took some family pictures of us at a BBQ we had sunday afternoon. I am so excited to see how they turned out! I have no pictures of the three of us.

Sorry this is so jumbled. I will try to write a more entertaining post in the near future. I love being a mom so much. My life is crazy busy, but it's good. I know it will only keep getting more exciting. 

Family Vacation!!

Sebastian went on his first family trip and had his first nights sleeping away from home and he was great! We drove down to Moab for a quick two day trip. Here's a little known secret- the KOA in Moab has cabins. They are very small (sleep 4 adults) and they have no bathroom (you use the very nice community bathrooms) but it was so pleasant. There is electricity, a heater, swamp cooler, a full size bed and one bunk bed. They even had a table that comes out of the wall that was perfect for a changing table! I loved it. We all did. Sebastian cooed and smiled the whole time we were there.

The first morning we put Batman in daycare and went into Arches National Park. We hiked to delicate arch. I was a little nervous about Sebastian, but we put him in the Ergo baby and he slept the whole time. You can't put sunscreen on a newborn before 6 months, covered him pretty good with a hat, long sleeve shirt and pants and sunglasses. ADORABLE.

We took him out long enough to eat and snap a picture of him with the arch in the background- he was not super happy to be out of the carrier. It had gotten a little sweaty (mostly Nathaniel sweat) and I think he was cold. But here is the classic picture.

We also got a family one where Sebastian is still in the carrier.

It was truly gorgeous. And the hike was pretty easy, just a mile and a half each way. The weather was nice, not too hot and we tried to go in the morning so it was cooler. We stopped at a few more places, like balancing rock and double arches, but one hike was probably all Sebastian could handle. 

We then walked around Moab, got matching Tshirts from this cute Tshirt shop and went to lunch before picking up the dog and returning to the cabin. We had hot dogs and s'mores that night and turned in early. On Saturday, Nathaniel and Batman went for a nice long hike that was dog friendly, while Sebastian and I lounged around the cabin.

 On our way back to Salt Lake we took a detour to Dead Horse Point. I had never heard of it before. It was beautiful. Kind of a smaller grand canyon. We also attempted to take a family picture with our matching T shirts. Nathaniel was a little embarrassed, but I insisted. You can't really tell that Sebastian is wearing the shirt, but he is!!

Here are some more of the view:

Like I said, it was so beautiful. Sebastian was great in the car, he slept there and back. What a great little traveler!! I hope we go again sometime. Maybe in the fall when it is cool again. I can't believe I have lived in Utah so long and have never been to Moab.